As a woman who went completely grey (or white, actually) in her 20s, I say… all of the above, or the TL;DR version, which of course is Fuck Off! Thanks for this!
When I was born, my mom was 44, and already had white hair. We all inherited this trait, my sister, and now my 29 year old daughter. So, when I was little, everyone assumed she was my grandmother.
When I read the part about the gender reveal, I thought, “that’s so cool, it’s like my mom!”
As an “older guy,” if I see you wearing that “fuck off” t-shirt, or you’re surfing, dancing your shoes off, out for a serious walk, or just plain doing shit and living a full life… I’m gonna smile and be like… hey… is she single… I wonder if she’d like to hang out a bit. Coffee? I absolutely love grey hair, but I love whatever color YOU like. Just keep rockin’ it, ladies!
I always wanted a tattoo of a spider web with a spider sitting in it. I was planning on drawing myself then taking it to a decent tattoo artist. But just never got around to it. I have a granddaughter but I haven’t seen her in maybe 8 years. If I met her walking down the street she wouldn’t know me. My daughter in law has never visited me in my home, nor has my granddaughter. Not because I wouldn’t want her. I adored my own grandmothers and spent weeks on end with them every summer. This arrangement is so disappointing to me. I have no idea at all what to do about it without feeling like I’m being a nag. Being old can be a drag if you let it. I’m just determined not to. Places like Substack help keep me informed and involved in the world. So I love it here.
‘Fuck off’ just about covers it, Lucy, though if I were a woman, I’d have to add another strong expletive to fully describe my contempt for those who box us (women and, yep, men) into ageist boxes. But yes, of course, women have it much, much harder than we men.
This is yet another example of the absurd nature of ‘reporting.’ Some 20 years ago I launched a website to help people in the 50+ group to get back into work. It was covered by the BBC and several dailies. One wanted a photo and called me to arrange a session. First question Are you married? No, I’m divorced. Do you have a partner No. Do you have any children? No. Finally with desperation in his voice the photographer asked ‘Do you have a pet?’ as a consequence, the article about my venture was introduced by a photograph of me with my, admittedly beautiful, Bengal, Archie.
I’m a grandma to three gorgeous grandkids but that doesn’t define me any more than the career I retired from. I am a gardener, a walker, a dancer, a traveller and a great cook. But none of these describe the whole of me - all my hobbies and characteristics and habits add up to make me me.
If younger people only knew, men & women can have good, fulfilling sex into their 90's and 100's! If we can only fight to keep our ovaries, which are producing 50% of our androgens after menopause and are responsible for sexual desire! So many of us have been told "They're not doing anything; yank them out!".
And, as I told my GYN/GU surgeon, even if we don't have partners, we still know how to pleasure ourselves!
It's hilarious when somebody calls my 89 year old mother '89 years young' . She says 'get off, I'm OLD I'm 89 years OLD... I've lived every one of those years and you can respect that... And also, do I get a discount since I'm so old ' 🤣
As a 68 year old woman (who’s counting? Not me…) I do find it offensive when my feed shows me the inspirational, no… absolute wonder expressed when any older woman does anything out of the “stereotypical norm”. I have actually said “fuck off” out loud in response to that kind of condescending crap. Thank you for your post! I think that might be the new battle cry of our generation.
Older women tend to be the most wise, sensitive and smart people I know. And being wronged so many, many times in predominantly male cultures makes them even more human. People use the one in charge of the EU as a good example, and that is fine, but I disagree on her thinking.
As a woman who went completely grey (or white, actually) in her 20s, I say… all of the above, or the TL;DR version, which of course is Fuck Off! Thanks for this!
De rien!
When I was born, my mom was 44, and already had white hair. We all inherited this trait, my sister, and now my 29 year old daughter. So, when I was little, everyone assumed she was my grandmother.
When I read the part about the gender reveal, I thought, “that’s so cool, it’s like my mom!”
As an “older guy,” if I see you wearing that “fuck off” t-shirt, or you’re surfing, dancing your shoes off, out for a serious walk, or just plain doing shit and living a full life… I’m gonna smile and be like… hey… is she single… I wonder if she’d like to hang out a bit. Coffee? I absolutely love grey hair, but I love whatever color YOU like. Just keep rockin’ it, ladies!
My next tatt is: Fuck off!
I so agree with you! I am 75, a grandmother but am not dead yet😜
Nail on head, Lucy, nail on head. No one is grannying me yet but I despise this kind of garbage. Sexism on steroids. Fuck off indeed!
I always wanted a tattoo of a spider web with a spider sitting in it. I was planning on drawing myself then taking it to a decent tattoo artist. But just never got around to it. I have a granddaughter but I haven’t seen her in maybe 8 years. If I met her walking down the street she wouldn’t know me. My daughter in law has never visited me in my home, nor has my granddaughter. Not because I wouldn’t want her. I adored my own grandmothers and spent weeks on end with them every summer. This arrangement is so disappointing to me. I have no idea at all what to do about it without feeling like I’m being a nag. Being old can be a drag if you let it. I’m just determined not to. Places like Substack help keep me informed and involved in the world. So I love it here.
‘Fuck off’ just about covers it, Lucy, though if I were a woman, I’d have to add another strong expletive to fully describe my contempt for those who box us (women and, yep, men) into ageist boxes. But yes, of course, women have it much, much harder than we men.
I blame the young…ha-ha!
This is yet another example of the absurd nature of ‘reporting.’ Some 20 years ago I launched a website to help people in the 50+ group to get back into work. It was covered by the BBC and several dailies. One wanted a photo and called me to arrange a session. First question Are you married? No, I’m divorced. Do you have a partner No. Do you have any children? No. Finally with desperation in his voice the photographer asked ‘Do you have a pet?’ as a consequence, the article about my venture was introduced by a photograph of me with my, admittedly beautiful, Bengal, Archie.
I’m a grandma to three gorgeous grandkids but that doesn’t define me any more than the career I retired from. I am a gardener, a walker, a dancer, a traveller and a great cook. But none of these describe the whole of me - all my hobbies and characteristics and habits add up to make me me.
I love this so much!
If younger people only knew, men & women can have good, fulfilling sex into their 90's and 100's! If we can only fight to keep our ovaries, which are producing 50% of our androgens after menopause and are responsible for sexual desire! So many of us have been told "They're not doing anything; yank them out!".
And, as I told my GYN/GU surgeon, even if we don't have partners, we still know how to pleasure ourselves!
TMI? Lol
Who cares about TMI!!? :)
LOL ….’has knitted a tree-cosy’ very funny
It's hilarious when somebody calls my 89 year old mother '89 years young' . She says 'get off, I'm OLD I'm 89 years OLD... I've lived every one of those years and you can respect that... And also, do I get a discount since I'm so old ' 🤣
As a 68 year old woman (who’s counting? Not me…) I do find it offensive when my feed shows me the inspirational, no… absolute wonder expressed when any older woman does anything out of the “stereotypical norm”. I have actually said “fuck off” out loud in response to that kind of condescending crap. Thank you for your post! I think that might be the new battle cry of our generation.
Thanks Debra. I think fuck off tshirts are in order :)
I’d wear one!
Me too, in solidarity.
Older women tend to be the most wise, sensitive and smart people I know. And being wronged so many, many times in predominantly male cultures makes them even more human. People use the one in charge of the EU as a good example, and that is fine, but I disagree on her thinking.
I do have grandchildren and I love and spend time with them, but there is much more to my life. I hope that is a model for them as they age.